Will Gail Dance? to Open at the Whisky

Puppy, Jenny-Jo, is a criminal concert ticket defacer. Band members were visibly upset.

A Bakersfield puppy was accused on Wednesday evening after The Police were called up following the suspicious defacement of concert tickets for a show at the Whisky A Go Go in Hollywood. The show, which features Los Angeles based rockers Stonebreed, also includes Bakersfield 80’s Gen-X cover band, Will Gail Dance? and is schedule to take place Wednesday evening, May 24th.

“It all started as a normal night of rehearsal,” explained Will Gail Dance?  bassist, Rob “NoHawk” Saranpa. “I received the tickets today, so I drove down to the studio, set the tickets on a table, went into Studio B, then fired-up my bass rig and played a few songs with the guys,” said NoHawk. “It never occurred to me the drummer’s dog was going to steal the tickets off the table and take them out for a taste test,” he said.

NoHawk and his lead singer, Lee Knowlium, were briefly unaffected by the ticket defacement which had a profound impact on their physiological well-being including slurred speech and inability to keep their heads up. Lee slowly exclaimed, “Dude! Puppygate sucks! I tried my imagination, and there is nothing else in the world that could cause me to pass out on a kitchen counter.”

The puppy, who goes by “Jenny,” was called, but did not respond. It is believed she had no one to turn to, but that Gail was somehow involved. According to one witness who wished to remain synonymous, “He turned his back for one second, and Jenny was just up there instantly on the table then disappeared with the tickets.” It is unclear as to whether Jenny lost her nerve or if she was disturbed, but the tickets were quickly discovered next to the doggy door.

The concert tickets, now a rubber-banded orange jumbled mess, were retrieved and placed on the countertop for safekeeping. WGD?’s guitarist, Eric “The Side” Collom, pointed out that the ticket damage was really no big deal by stating, “How rock-n-roll!” As the destructive doggy’s owner, drummer Greg “GPdrums” DeWitt, agreed to allow Jenny-Jo to pay restitution by offering to paw-to-graph the back of any damaged tickets.”

Due to the ridiculousness of this incident, general admission tickets will be on sale soon for $10. Souvenir paw-to-graph tickets will be available for $15.